Setting aside a random championship season for a local sports team, 2016 was basically what our Latin-speaking friends would call an annus horribilis, which sounds like an unwanted medical condition.
Not that horribilis isn’t fascinating to behold. Even beyond the political freak show that dominated our existence for much of the calendar year, 2016 also saw America curl up on the couch and lose itself for weeks at a time over the exploits of poet laureate Ryan Lochte, the requiem for Brangelina and the continuing saga of the Kanye West Attention Apparatus.
Here in humble Lake County, there was no shortage of headlines in 2016 that didn’t quite fit the category of straight, hard news. Once upon a time at the News-Sun, we would round up such stories each year under the heading of wacky and tacky. Other appropriate adjectives might include strange, weird, offbeat, goofy or life-sustaining.
One might argue that such things are meaningless distractions, but don’t pretend that they don’t stop and make you stare, even for a second.
Without further ado, let’s glance back in the rearview mirror one last time at those Lake County stories and/or non-stories that caused a gaper’s delay or two in 2016:
Equus Asinus in Waukegan: The word “ass” — presumably as in the donkey kind — was a running theme at Waukegan City Council meetings in early 2016. It started in January, when Mayor Wayne Motley announced rules of decorum during public comment and warned that “if you get up there and make an ass of yourself, I’m going to make you sit down.”
Sure enough, during a public-comment appearance by activist Ralph Peterson Jr. in March, Motley said “when you’re done making an ass out of yourself, sit down.”
Not to be outdone, Peterson rejoined that “the only ass is you.” Lawyers then got involved and made deposits into their investment portfolios.
Ted Nugent Alert: Waukegan’s public flirtation with a promoter who claimed to be capable of delivering high-profile names to a lakefront concert series began in January when Motley said the list of prospective acts included Ted Nugent, whose title has shifted in recent years from “1970s rocker” to “controversial 1970s rocker who makes racially charged comments.”
The backlash was swift. “If Ted Nugent comes to Waukegan, as the chair of the Lake County Black Lives Matter movement, I will contact every chapter from California to New York, and we’ll have the biggest protest in Waukegan you have ever seen,” Zion resident Clyde McLemore.
He was not alone in his opposition, and Ted Nugent was the first name added to the list of performers who probably weren’t ever going to come play a Waukegan lakefront concert in 2016 anyway.
Here, Piggy-Piggy?: It wasn’t the first time that someone suggested miniature pigs or other animals normally found in a barnyard be allowed as pets in a municipality, and it will not be the last. But a North Chicago couple appealed to the city to throw open its gates to pigs in October, saying they might have to move to a more pig-friendly community if local pet ordinances weren’t amended.
Action was indeed taken — at the Dec. 5 North Chicago City Council meeting, an alderman proposed the drafting of a measure “regulating domestic miniature pigs as household pets” … and the proposal died when no other alderman agreed to back it.
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“Creepy” Clowns, or Just Clown Clowns?: In early October, around the time your local dormant Kmart was briefly re-born once again as a Halloween costume shop, Lake County jumped aboard a bandwagon.
“Waukegan Public Schools have received several calls and messages of concern today regarding what are being referred to as ‘creepy clowns’ in the community,” read an actual statement from School District 60 officials on Oct. 4.
“As you may have heard on the news, schools across the country are reporting threats or sightings in recent days of ‘creepy clowns,'” the statement added. “If you or your child encounter any threatening clown-related social media posts, or have any concerns about reported clown sightings, please contact the Waukegan Police Department.”
Police were contacted not only in Waukegan but also North Chicago and Round Lake as the creepy-clown phenomenon enjoyed its moment in the spotlight. When it was over, we were left to argue whether or not any clown aside from the Bob Bell version of Bozo has ever not been just a bit creepy.
Will alleged evil clown sightings return to Lake County in 2017? We can only hope so, because we can all use a break from reality now and then.
Twitter@NewsSunDanMoran