Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I love to entertain, and nothing makes me happier than to spend hours shopping for just the right table decor and the makings for a wonderful dinner party or seasonal gathering at my house. I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but how on earth can I stop guests from bringing food, flowers and tchotchkes to my parties?
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The food thing particularly grates on me since I go to a good bit of trouble with the menu and then am confronted at the front door with a dish or dessert I don’t want to serve. The same goes for the well-meaning handoff of a bouquet of flowers that I then have to scramble to find a vase for and arrange and all that. Or how about the festive sequined reindeer that I got recently from a dinner guest who seemed intent on having me slap it in the middle of my already-decorated table?
— I’m No Scrooge
Dear I’m No Scrooge: I beg to differ. You sound a bit Scrooge-y to me! I get your point about disrupting your well-planned festivities. But, jeez. Lighten up! Sure you can say on the invitation, evite or on the phone that you don’t want your guests to bring a single thing. But there will be some who just can’t stand to arrive empty-handed.
Unwelcome food? Say thanks, and put it in the refrigerator for later. You do not have to serve it. Tell your well-meaning friend that you want to save it to savor later. The flowers? Jam them in any handy pitcher filled with water, then put the whole thing out of the way until you have time to arrange them nicely after you clean up your kitchen. As for the giant reindeer, surely you can stash it on a side table with gracious thanks even if you’ll be donating it to Goodwill the next day.
You cannot stop grateful guests from arriving bearing gifts, although if you make enough of a scene about how you don’t want the stuff, you might find yourself with an ever dwindling guest list for those parties you say you like to throw.
Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I have an odd problem. My eye makeup doesn’t stay on. I use an eye shadow foundation, powder eye shadow and so-called 24-hour liquid eyeliner. I’ve tried using 24-hour eyeliner pencils on the lower eyelid, and that winds up pooling under my eye or disappearing altogether. I don’t have this problem with 24-hour mascara. Incidentally, I wear contact lenses, so I can’t have anything that will flake off.
— Margo B.
Dear Margo: If you wear a moisturizer under your makeup, stop! Adding oil to the already oily eye area is going to cause problems with your liner and shadow going south on you. If you use a nighttime moisturizer, be sure to wash the eye area thoroughly in the a.m. before applying your makeup. Similarly, keep foundation and concealer away from the eyes since they too will add oils that cause makeup slippage.
It sounds as if you already use a makeup primer under your shadow, but be sure it is not oil-based. Primer is intended to keep shadow and liner in place, so if that’s not what you’re using, give it a try. Also consider pressed powder (in a compact) as a base before applying your eye makeup. One other tip: Use an eye pencil the color of your shadow and draw lines on your lid then blend it. The pencil provides a surface for your shadow to grab onto. And, of course, look for words like “24-hour,” “waterproof” or “water resistant” on the makeup you buy.
And, in a related question …
Dear Answer Angel Ellen: No matter what brand I use or what kind of a brush it comes with, my mascara gets clumpy on my lashes. Any ideas?
— Janie K.
Dear Janie: Try this suggestion from Bev R., who also didn’t like the way her mascara globbed on her lashes. She keeps a mascara wand from a discarded tube of mascara on hand. She first washes it with soap and water and lets it dry then uses it to separate her lashes after a new application of mascara.
Angelic readers I
After I recommended tiny makeup spatulas from www.amazon.com to get the last smidgens of makeup out of bottles and jars, readers responded with some ingenious ideas that work for them. Jan M. uses the plastic stir sticks from coffee shops: “The ones at Panera are longer than most and have a slightly larger disc at the bottom.” Wendy G. recommends the same thing, although she gets hers at Starbucks.
For makeup in tubes, Mary W. cuts the end off, scoops out what she needs, then, she advises “turn a bit of the end over and secure with one of those spring clips available at office supply stores.”
Angelic readers II
Thanks for all the suggestions on hats that won’t give you “hat hair.” Laura J., Mary W. and Liz K. suggest hooded scarves. Says Liz, “They don’t smash your hair down so much and have the added benefit you don’t have to keep track of both a hat and a scarf.” She buys hers on www.etsy.com but says they’re an easy project for those who can knit or crochet (but don’t use a pattern that has big holes between stitches, which won’t protect you from the cold). Laura found hers at www.vermontcountrystore.com. Deb W., Robin L. and Marie D. recommend bandless ear muffs, which fit over each ear. (I’d lose one I’m sure, the same way I lose one sock every load of wash I do.) Bethany K. says to buy a coat with an attached hood roomy enough to cover the head but not smash your hair.
Now it’s your turn
Send your questions, rants, tips, favorite finds — on style, shopping, makeup, fashion and beauty — to [email protected].
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