On the surface, “1980s-set mermaid horror musical” seems pretty hard to resist. Below the surface—a more likely place to find mermaids than a Polish nightclub that exploits their questionable, magical ability to turn legs into a tail just by adding water—the rarely fun “The Lure” really struggles to make anything out of that concept. Its slogan may as well be, “Come for the fish, stay for the, uh … TBD.”
Played by actresses who could place 23rd and 96th were Poland to ever hold look-alike contests for Kendall Jenner and a young Nicole Kidman, sisters Golden and Silver (those are really their names) just appear at the club, which is like burlesque by and for people who don’t know what burlesque is. Director Agnieszgka Smoczynska uncomfortably invokes “The Little Mermaid” and grazes a point about female sexual empowerment and male desire. But its depiction of love and sex is so muddled that nothing comes into focus other than a lot of gratuitous nudity and some really terrible music.
What exactly are these mermaids’ needs? Can they really change species just by swapping bottom halves with a human woman? Even stories like this need to ask those questions in advance. Another one that should have been considered: “Will our attempt at a hypnotic tone be pierced by someone playing the keytar?”
Don’t bother. 2 stars (out of four)
Selected quote: “Help us come ashore, no need to fear, we won’t eat you, my dear.”
Viewed via online screener before the festival
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