Hope springs eternal, OK? Nobody says hope winters eternal.
Tom Skilling, WGN-TV’s mostly sunny, mid- to upper-50s weatherman, called for a chance of snow Monday for the White Sox’s first game of the season. And the Sox, not wanting to mess with Mother Nature or Father Tom, canceled the game.
We appeal to the higher authority: Tom, baby, sweetheart — it can’t snow! It’s Opening Day!
But, alas, the Sox-Royals’ rescheduled opener will take place Tuesday, when there is a chance of snow in the morning, according to our man, T-Skillz.
Snow on Opening Day is not American. It’s Austrian. Or Arctic. If snow were a part of baseball, there’d be players named Whitey Fjord instead of Whitey Ford. A-Rod would be called Iditarod. If baseball games were meant to be staged in the snow, players would snowshoe into second base on steal attempts.
Are we straight on this? Good. I had to get that off my parka-covered chest.
Opening Day is special. Hope is in the air in measurable amounts. The Cubs, who begin their season Monday in Houston, which not only is warmer but has a ballpark with a retractable roof, believe deep in their hearts that they have everything a world championship team has. Provided everyone stays healthy, they might be right.
But these are the Cubs, and if it indeed snows Monday in Chicago, they’ll probably come down with hypothermia in Houston.
The Sox believe that anyone who predicts the South Siders will win 75 games or so is an idiot. Provided everybody stays healthy, they might be right.
But these are the Sox, and if a key player goes down, they’ll suspect a Cubs conspiracy.
Right now, the important thing is that we’re finally here at the starting line. Spring training, which began so long ago that carbon dating is necessary to mark its beginning, is over.
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So let’s get down to what Chicago fans do best, which is staying aloft on the dual jet streams of euphoria and worry.
Cubs fans, you should be excited. Your team has won its division two years in a row. Barring a bizarre setback, it should play in the postseason again. You have the best rotation in the National League, if not in all of baseball. Milton Bradley, if he stays healthy, will provide offense and energy.
You should be less worried that Bradley is going to explode and more worried that Rich Harden is going to come apart like a Mr. Potato Head rolling around in the trunk of a moving car. The Cubs have treated the oft-injured Harden delicately this off-season, monitoring his pitches, innings and days off. Bomb-squad technicians don’t tiptoe around this much.
As manager Lou Piniella said the other day, it’s not as if the Cubs have a lot of depth. One or two of these starters go down, and the club will need somebody to come through in a big way. Someone like Jeff Samardzija. They’d prefer that Harden’s shoulder doesn’t fall off.
Sox fans, you should be excited. Carlos Quentin is not a one-year wonder. He’s the real deal. Spring training seemed to indicate that he spent the off-season working on his emotions. Nobody wants a serene Quentin. A less tightly wound Quentin — say, a Quentin as tight as triple-knotted shoes — would be just fine.
You should be less worried that Dewayne Wise is the wrong guy to lead off and more worried that Jose Contreras, 37, and Bartolo Colon, 35, will throw out their backs fighting over senior-discount coupons.
To say that the Sox’s season is riding on the arms of these two oldsters would be overstating things. But not by much.
Cubs fans, you should be worried. There have been no indications yet that Kosuke Fukudome is turning things around. The Cubs answer by saying he’s happy with his new interpreter.
Sox fans, you should be worried. You have a rookie at second base (Chris Getz), a player with 425 major-league at-bats and a questionable glove at third (Josh Fields) and lots of age in other key roles (Jim Thome, et al.).
Cubs fans, you should be happy. Carlos Zambrano said the other day Wrigley Field should be torn down. But he backtracked Sunday..
Sox fans, you should be happy. You have Gordon Beckham waiting in the wings.
Through all the giddiness and worry of a new season, people on both sides of town can come together over one thing, seeing as how they share a city: Snow in April on Opening Day is a crime against baseball.
Sunshine, Tom Skilling. We need sunshine. Find a radar screen that agrees.
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