Dare to Bear
Bears fan Sarah Spain joins us for opening weekend. Send your condolences to her Facebook on Monday. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/facebookfives.
SARAH SPAIN
‘THAT GUY’
LEO EBERSOLE
BRIAN MOORE
TRACY SWARTZ
We asked our panelists before the NFL season opener to make one prediction.
Chad Ocho Cinco starts a trend. Coming soon? Kyle Neckbeard and Devin Ridiculous.
I finally get into Underground.
Clinton Portis will avert a pregame identity crisis by switching to one of 17 backup identities.
Michael Phelps will step in for Eli Manning and nobody will notice.
Like the Redskins, I have no vision. D.C. can’t nail anything down.
If your favorite university banned all signs at home games, how would you respond?
I didn’t know Devry had athletics.
Roofie the mascot.
Body paint. In places body paint should never be used.
I’d have to chop off my middle fingers.
Sad for most teams. How will FSU and Georgia learn how to spell/read now?
More Top Picks Best Fashion Sunglasses For Women
How did an ordinary fan beat LeBron James in a game of H-O-R-S-E?
James suffers from equinophobia (and the lesser known alphebephobia: fear of spelling).
LeBron was too busy endorsing the pavement.
Nothing-but-net from the baseline — gets ’em every time.
LeBron forgot how to spell it.
After the first four letters LeBron got distracted and checked his cell.
Tell something we need to know about the Cubs’ or Sox’s weekend series.
The ladies of Cincy = Slumpbusters.
Everyone will be watching football.
The Sox face a tough series against the Angels. Meanwhile, Friday is Goat Sacrifice to Beelzebub Night.
The Cubs never seem to be able to beat Bronson Arroyo, so it’s time for your “Uh-oh” face.
Teams beware: September marks the start of fall.
How will you help the Bears against the Colts Sunday night?
Four words: Peyton Manning Voodoo Doll.
Tequila shots. Should blunt the trauma.
With body paint, mostly.
I’m starting Devin Hester on my fantasy team, so I have to root for him. That’s the best I can do.
Bail money. Four a.m. is the only time you’ll hear “caught” and “Bears” in the same sentence.