A child needs to have certain things explained.
Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood said Wednesday that one of his own kids “cheers when I give up home runs,” because when the crowd reacts, the boy thinks it’s a good thing.
Quite a few grownups at Wrigley Field could use a good talking to, too.
You could start with those who feel Mark Cuban is exactly the new owner that the Cubs need, oblivious to the fact his NBA Dallas Mavericks continue to be one of the biggest packs of choking dogs in all of professional sports.
And then you could have a word or two with any stupendously stupid knucklehead who knocks Alfonso Soriano.
If you are a true-blue Cubs fan with half a brain under your cap, you should be overjoyed to have Soriano back in the lineup if he returns Thursday as expected.
You shouldn’t give a hoot if Lou Piniella bats him leadoff, cleanup, fifth, sixth or ninth, as long as he bats him.
You should be as eager to see Soriano back in left field as A-Sor is to hop his way back out there.
“I am going to bring what I bring every day to the field,” a cheerful Soriano said by the Cubs’ dugout before Wednesday night’s 19-5 victory over Milwaukee, having shagged a few balls in the outfield and given his healed right calf a test run.
“Mostly I play happy, and that’s what I do every day.”
Unhappy people can’t leave a good thing alone, though, so there are a few sad clowns in Chicago who have had the temerity to suggest two absurd things:
One, that because the Cubs have been playing good baseball without Soriano, maybe they shouldn’t fix something that isn’t broken.
More Top Picks Generators
And two, that Soriano hasn’t really been that great yet for a guy who was given the richest contract in Chicago baseball history.
A child who can’t spell C-U-B could tell you how dopey this kind of thinking is.
First, simply because the Cubs had a pleasant month — a 17th victory Wednesday made it a record-setting April for the club — not mean they can get along without one of their best players who’s also one of the league’s best.
OK, so the Cubs teed off on Brewers pitcher Jeff Suppan in a six-run first inning as if they were playing T-ball.
OK, so potential owner Cuban was up and clapping from his front-row seat, a lifetime Pittsburgh Pirates fan proving he can be as flexible as Hillary Clinton when it comes to rooting for whichever town’s fans you are trying to impress.
But if you think the next 135 games could go this same way without Soriano in the lineup, you are certifiably nuts.
“He gives us power,” Piniella explained patiently to anyone still too thick in the head to get it. “He’s a star player. We have three legitimate home run hitters with him.
“Let’s hope he comes back nice and hot for us. He can carry us for a while.”
Like he did last year.
Unbelievable, the short memories some people have. Soriano had a super 2007 season and led the Cubs to their first playoff series since 2003. Yet Soriano alternately has been described in print and on radio as “inconsistent,” “slow-starting,” “disappointing” and a postseason flop.
Do you have any idea how many good things this guy did?
He had 80 extra-base hits. He hit 14 home runs in September alone, breaking a Cubs record for that month held by no less than Ernie Banks.
He led off a dozen games with a home run. He hit a ninth-inning home run in the All-Star Game.
He was the National League’s player of the month for June. He had 50 multihit games. He stole more bases than Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Mark DeRosa, Mike Fontenot and Jacque Jones combined.
Cubs fans should be panting to have Soriano back. They should roll a red carpet out to left field for him.
The team’s record was 8-3 with Soriano batting in the leadoff spot before he hopped for a fly ball against the Reds and hobbled off the field.
Is he raring to go? Yes. Is he ready to go? He doesn’t know, but he hopes so.
“I have to wait until [Thursday] to see how I feel,” Soriano said, “because I’ve been out of the lineup for two weeks.”
It would be nice if a TV weathercaster would give a report for May 1 in Chicago that didn’t sound more like a Dec. 1 in Alaska.
Soriano might get nice and hot, as Piniella put it, in a hurry if the temperature could rise above 50 for a change. His hits didn’t really begin coming until last June, but after that they came in bunches.
“It’s not easy to live with the cold weather, but everybody has to do it,” Soriano said. “Everybody has to be prepared mentally for very cold weather.”
The rest of the team is hitting at a nice clip, .281 going into Wednesday’s game. Rookie catcher Geovany Soto homered twice, Derrek Lee once and the lineup sure did look as if it didn’t miss Soriano a bit.
Cubs fans are giddy about the outfield they have — about Kosuke Fukudome’s face being on the cover of Sports Illustrated, about a couple of clutch hits lately from Felix Pie, about Reed Johnson’s diving grab last week that teammate Wood called “the best catch I’ve ever seen.”
But a child could tell you that what the Cubs need most from May to October is to have their most outstanding outfielder back in left field.
Thankfully, he is on his way.
———-
More Top Picks Best Wooden Dog Crates