RedEye wanted to scout the post-Ben Wallace, new-look Bulls and see how well Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes and Co. play against the vaunted Dallas Mavericks. So we asked several of our Five on Five regulars to watch the first half of the game and give their impressions in RedEye’s Chat Room. Ready? Fire away, folks.
Phillip Thompson, Leo Ebersole, Tracy Swartz, Brian Moore
FIRST QUARTER
TRACY: Oooh everything’s bigger in Texas, even my love for Jo Noah.
TRACY: I’m in a fromance.
PHIL: Mavs rhymes with Cavs. That’s all the setup you need, Tracy.
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TRACY: Mav you no shame?
PHIL: Uh boy.
BRIAN: So, let’s see. They traded two guys who were starting for … two guys who don’t start. Makes perfect sense. For the Bulls.
LEO: Bulls quickly in a 5-0 hole. Get Drew Gooden’s beard ready to come off the bench!
TRACY: Those are the Bulls? I thought those were 8th graders playing dress-up.
TRACY: The Bulls could use some shots after this game.
PHIL: Based on Larry Hughes’ rep, just being in the stadium is considered a “start” for him. Baby steps.
TRACY: Wow, this win will be paint-by-numbers for the Mavs.
PHIL: Three of the Mavs are wearing headbands like Ben Wallace. You’re just going to rub it in, huh, Dallas?
LEO: And brick-a brick-a free throw.
BRIAN: Dallas got Jason Kidd in a recent trade. Are you listening, John Paxson?
PHIL: (Psst, Jo Noah: Tracy missed your dunk because she was too busy updating her Facebook page, or something like that.)
LEO: Kidd must be having flashbacks to his high school days the way he’s weaving through the Bulls’ D. And leave it to Los Toros to make Erick Dampier look like Dwight Howard.
PHIL: Bulls take their first TO at the 6:31 mark in the first. Leo, I owe you $1.
LEO: Anyone else missing Ben Wallace?
PHIL: Could Thabo Sefolosha be a better blocker than Ben Wallace? He’s going to need to be at the rate Kirk Hinrich is turning over balls.
BRIAN: I take back what I’ve said about Gooden. He just missed a layup. He’ll fit right in with the Bulls.
PHIL: Blocking foul by Wooly Willie! I mean blocking foul by Drew Gooden!
TRACY: Apparently men wearing white can jump.
PHIL: Hold on, I’m downloading the Web page that’s keeping track of Bulls turnovers. … Still loading … still loading …
BRIAN: Gooden shoots, Gooden scores. Sorry, Cleveland, you can’t have him back.
LEO: Is it OK if the Bulls get an extra 10 seconds to get back on defense every possession? Apparently they need the help.
PHIL: Larry Hughes caught a pass … with his face. Cut him some slack; he’s new.
BRIAN: A wide-open Hughes bobbles the pass. He must think he got traded to the Bears.
SECOND QUARTER
PHIL: A long time ago in a league far, far away, the Bulls were known as a defense that could actually get a hand in somebody’s face.
BRIAN: Uhh, Hughes hits a three. Thanks for making me look like a punk, Larry.
LEO: Another Dallas three. So far, the post-trade Mavs have demonstrated more speed, more talent and better team play. The post-trade Bulls have demonstrated … more Tyrus Thomas.
PHIL: Let’s see, the Bulls are being run ragged on the perimeter as the Mavs drain threes at will. Yet the Bulls don’t have anyone older than 29 now. Does this add up to you?
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TRACY: No stuntry for old men.
BRIAN: Are Andres Nocioni and Dirk Nowitzki long-lost brothers?
PHIL: Bulls battling back from 17 points down. Who do they think they are, Obama?
LEO: Another three-point play for Kidd. Seriously, letting him run the floor like this is like giving Shaq the keys to a Dunkin’ Donuts after hours.
PHIL: Hinrich fouls Kidd while Ben G is called for the goal-tend. That’s right, Ben Gordon. Goaltending. Shouldn’t even be possible, people.
TRACY: This is the 2008 version of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”
BRIAN: Kirk Hinrich gets kicked out of the game. That’s not how they drew it up in practice.
BRIAN: Did the refs really just call traveling? I didn’t think that was possible in the NBA anymore.
PHIL: Hinrich T’d up and tossed. C’mon, ref, he was just singing the “[Bleeping] Ben Affleck” song to you.
PHIL: That pass Drew Gooden threw to Luol Deng was longer than anything Kyle Orton has thrown in his life.
BRIAN: The Bulls look good at the end of the half and might have hope after heading into halftime down by just seven … wait, Jerry Stackhouse drains a three, Dallas leads by 10. Forget what I said. Game over.