Ladies and gentlemen, you could be in for a cold, cold, cold, Kobe Bryant-free winter here in Chicago.
If your deal-or-no-deal Bulls can’t play any better than this, then brace yourselves … 41-41 record, here they come.
Everybody in a uniform looked tradable in Friday night’s home opener with the Philadelphia 76ers, a team so weak it was projected in Sports Illustrated’s NBA preview issue to be the Eastern Conference’s 15th best (i.e., worst).
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The 50th consecutive sellout at the United Center turned out to be a no-show for the guys of Scott Skiles, whose five-year record as Bulls coach fell to 156-157 with the 96-85 loss to the 76ers.
“For the second game in a row, we just looked dead out there,” Skiles said.
Only a comeback in the last few minutes enabled the Bulls even to get back in the game.
What a half-hearted first half they gave to their fans:
*Ben Wallace, one point, no rebounds.
*Luol Deng, two points, zero assists.
*Kirk Hinrich, no points, two fouls.
“If Tyrus Thomas wasn’t playing like this, they wouldn’t be in this basketball game at all,” ex-Bull Kendall Gill said 100 percent correctly on TV at halftime.
Thomas, who stunk up the state of New Jersey in the Bulls’ season opener Wednesday, was by far the best player they had two nights later.
If any scouts from the Lakers saw this game, they might ask for Thomas instead of Deng in a deal for Bryant.
In the home team’s dressing room a couple of hours before the game, various Bulls held court on the vast number of teams good enough to win the East.
“Wow,” journeyman Joe Smith said. “I would say Detroit, and definitely New Jersey after what they showed us on opening night, and Boston, of course.
“I still think Cleveland could win again, even though people are giving them a hard time. It’s up for grabs.”
“The East is wide open,” chimed in Deng. “You have to give Cleveland respect. People say they’re not as good as last year, but I don’t know about that.”
Hey, gang. Guess who else might not be as good as last year?
A little team we used to call … Da Bulls.
Skiles spoke before the game about how Wednesday’s loss in New Jersey had as many lowlights as highlights.
So many that a few of them were spliced mercifully right out of the reel.
“We watched a lot of clips,” the coach said. “We left out some embarrassing ones.”
The highlights from Friday night’s game could be shown in their entirety in about 60 seconds flat.
There we were, watching a Bulls team that took 22 of 26 at home versus the East last season.
They were granted the luxury of drawing Philly as an opponent for this season’s United Center coming-out party.
No more Allen Iverson, no more Chris Webber and not a hope or a prayer for Mo Cheeks’ 76ers this season.
Wallace made a short, sweet pregame speech, his wild hair protruding from a headband like a Chia Pet.
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And then the Bulls center ran the floor for more than 13 minutes of the first half without a basket or a rebound to show for it.
Deng had played down the opening-night loss to the Nets, saying, “I’m not taking anything away from Jersey but we made a lot of mistakes.”
And then the Bulls’ forward ran the floor for nearly 16 minutes of the first half with a single basket to show for it.
Smith, the ex-Sixer making his home debut as a Bull, said before the game that he liked what he saw in his new teammates.
“It’s not going to be pretty every night,” Smith said. “But nine times out of 10, it’ll be good enough to get the job done.”
Don’t count on it.
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