When someone is talking to you, do you raise an eyebrow or wring your hands? If so, your body had better watch its language.
That raised eyebrow probably means you can’t be trusted, and all that hand-wringing is a way of telling someone to back off. Those are some of the basic lessons you can learn in Gregory Hartley and Maryann Karinch’s new book, “I Can Read You Like a Book,” a sort of “Body Language for Dummies.”
“The first thing is that there are very few absolutes in human behavior. You need to look at the individual,” said Hartley, who became fluent in body language interrogating enemy prisoners for the U.S. Army.
Not surprisingly, men and women each speak a different form of body language, especially when it comes to “barriering,” that is, distancing yourself from another person, Hartley said.
“Men have more of a tendency to wring their hands. Women will typically use objects, like putting a purse between you and them. It keeps you at arm’s length,” he said. “And when men find themselves in an uncomfortable situation, they’ll adopt a fig-leaf posture, with their hands in front of their genitals. Women will turn their toes in.”
Those differences among the sexes also apply in political circles. Just look at Bill and Hillary Clinton. While Hillary often tries to impart a message of caring and warmth in words, her “elephant shuffle,” in which she shifts weight from one foot to the other while speaking, sends the opposite message, Hartley said.
“Hillary Clinton takes on the role of Holy Warrior,” dressed in full body armor, he said. “Her husband, however, is always smiling. He has a natural charisma. His body language is more demonstrative and genuinely warm.”
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