If you crossed Ayn Rand with a Zen master, you might come up with someone like Byron Katie, a West Coast spiritual teacher whose workshops are designed to help people see that no one can make them happy but themselves.
Whether you think that’s self-realization or self-centeredness will let you know if you’re a candidate to buy her new book, “I Need Your Love–Is That True?” (Harmony, $24).
Katie says the thoughts that flood our minds during our internal conversations are usually negative and are often untrue. Her method, called “The Work,” consists of hammering away at those lies and turning them around to question if the opposite is actually true. Often, she says, we role-play in our relationships to try to win approval and love instead of showing our true selves–like the man who can’t admit to his wife that he hates oatmeal, because she served it to him after they slept together for the first time. After 23 years, he’s still eating it.
Though Katie’s book seems a bit pat and simplistic in spots, you still can’t shake the feeling that she’s on to something.
Let ‘er rip: “Who would you be if you just asked for what you want straight up, rather than resenting that you didn’t get what you didn’t ask for?”