Fall is in the air, and I can smell the burgundy leather boots, wool pants and Burberry scarves–but smelling is about all I can do with them.
You may not have heard yet, but even though a lot of people refer to the next three months as “The Holidays,” this year it’s also being called “The Fall of Financial Responsibility.” (Oh, the irony. I meant the season, people–not the demise. Although chances are good that some kind of demise will transpire at Banana Republic around December, rationalized by the notion that “It’s Christmas!”)
Strangely enough, the season also goes by a third alias, known in some circles as “The Jolly Time When the Grace Period on Maegan’s Student Loans Expired Thus Leaving Her Miserable and Broke.”
Never heard of it? I wish I hadn’t either.
I loved my time at UCLA and Northwestern University, and I would not be typing this sentence right now if I had not shelled out the big bucks to attend either school. But five years as a student certainly didn’t do anything for my Louis Vuitton savings fund.
Sure, I got a bachelor’s degree in political science and a master’s degree in magazine publishing that helped me find a good job. But how am I supposed to be a Diesel-clad badass running in elite circles when 30 percent of my income is dedicated to paying for a time I’ve already lived?
It’s not that I didn’t realize that one day I would have to pay the money back. But it’s like losing your winter beer belly–it’s something you know you’ll eventually get around to but still avoid confronting. Except, unlike the lovable little pudge that managed to stay sneakily concealed under lightweight summer sweaters, you get the bill. And, unfortunately, the people who send bills expect you to pay them.
They want some cold hard cash too. According to Nellie Mae, graduates from a four-year institution have about $19,000 of debt (along with about $3,200 in credit card debt). Get a master’s degree and tack on an additional $17,207, according to the National Association of Student Financial Aid Administrators.
Well, I can beat that–I’ll pretty much be paying for those degrees until the sun explodes and obliterates our universe. And even after that, my best friend Sarah will still be paying for hers, because she has the unfortunate luck of being a medical student at a private university. (The Association of Medical Colleges says the median debt of med students at private schools in 2003 was $135,000.)
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Sarah and I have basically resigned ourselves to the fact that we will not own a piece of furniture we did not buy at IKEA until we are over 50.
But why complain? There are worse things in life, like losing a leg or a front tooth.
If you can’t see anything good about living with your student loan debt, try out these low-cost activities to maximize fun in your budget-burdened life:
– Forget cable and get an antenna for your TV. You can choose shows from, like, six channels.
– Go window shopping and plan ways to save up for the special item you want, so it will be out of season when you can finally afford it.
– Eat pasta. It’s cheap and reheats well.
– Talk to friends on your cell after midnight, when the minutes are finally free–or if you can’t wait that long, arrange to meet them in an alley and play four square (balls available at Target on Elston Avenue for as low as $4.99).
– Clip your toenails. Grooming is important.
OK, fine. I’m not being very helpful. How about this one?
– Send me an e-mail so we can commiserate about what a national travesty it is that the cost of a decent education just keeps getting in the way of some really important shoe shopping.
Do they grant forbearances for that?
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