In Chicago anyway, the 2000 Games–you know, the Olympics–have been anticipated with all the enthusiasm of the Diana Ross reunion tour.
That is to say, not much.
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And why should they be? Sure, the Olympics are a big deal in Kazakhstan, whose Mukhtarkhan Dildabekov and several other boxers with extremely long names are expected to medal. Chicagoans have the White Sox to worry about, the Bears to rage over and the Cubs to make excuses for.
Then there are the Bulls’ and Blackhawks’ seasons for which to prepare, and it could take several weeks alone just to figure out who plays for them now.
We don’t have time for the Olympics here. Plus, it’s September. Football season. We’re way too busy waiting for the Bob Davie countdown to begin, the Bears’ offense to implode and the newest stadium deal to be consummated to be paying attention to synchronized diving–yes, diving; it’s a new sport–and trampolining (new sport also).
If that’s not reason enough, the time difference in Australia is what, 2 1/2 days? If it’s tomorrow there when it’s today here, then why can’t we find out what happened tomorrow and place bets today? Hey, it worked on one of the “Back to the Future” movies.
At least that would be a reason to watch.
What’s more, other than basketball, softball, women’s soccer, women’s tennis, a couple of boxing classes, Lance Armstrong, the eights in rowing, the 50-meter rifle from the prone position and a whole bunch of swimmers and runners, especially Marion Jones, we don’t have all that many gold medals locked up.
Who wants to watch the Russians kick our butts when it hasn’t been fun to root against them in so long?
There are too many other things to do: lawns to rake, “Survivor” reruns to ignore, to bother with what was it again? Oh, yeah, the Olympics, that once-every-two-year, prime-time interruption that somehow still manages to captivate us.
Not unlike the Jerry Lewis telethon, no one will admit actually watching the Opening Ceremonies. But darned if it won’t be on our sets Friday night as the endless parade of countries and Up With People dancers (oh, wait, that’s only when the Olympics are in this country) march across the screen.
We’ll glance up as the U.S. athletes march by, no doubt in some corny country-and-western garb that will thoroughly embarrass us while further cementing the world-wide image of Americans as rejects from “Hee Haw.” And we’ll glance up again as the little country with one little flag bearer competing in kayak brings up the rear, his story as compelling as any we’ll hear about Jason Sehorn.
At our house, the kids are being forced to watch for two fundamental reasons: so they will A) know what their mother does for a living and B) understand why said mother has deserted them for the better part of a month.
It will be their first Olympics, and as I described to my 5-year-old what it was all about, I was struck by something. First, that she actually paid attention for more than 11 seconds, which could be explained by the fact that it was 10:15 and she figured if she kept quiet enough, no one would notice that she was still awake.
Mostly though, I suspect she was interested in the same things that once attracted us all to the Olympics.
These are sports that we only get to see every four years, events such as diving and gymnastics, amazing feats of strength and skill if we only allow ourselves to appreciate them.
Delayed broadcasts or not, these are finite snatches of time, unlike any other in sports, when we will learn who is the world’s fleetest runner and strongest man and fastest swimmer, when we will see their tears and hear their national anthems and listen to stories we otherwise would not.
But most important, our kids will see it as well. And in between the references to blood-doping and urine-testing, they will see what we saw as kids–sport’s grandest spectacle played out on its biggest stage. Night after night. More dramatic than “Survivor.” More inspiring than “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?”
And chances are they will dream, as we did, of the day when they too will compete for a gold medal.
Whether they have a prayer of doing so is missing the point.